Preface to “Jasper’s Journey”

**Disclaimer: I am not a Registered Dietician, Certified Clinical Nutritionist, Licensed Counselor, Licensed Clinical Social Worker, Licensed Christian Counselor, Professional Photographer nor do I claim to be any of the above listed. The following expressed opinions belong, solely, to the opinions of those sharing them. That’d be be. After all, this is my “about” page. I dare say you should read on.

This is me. Wait wait, don’t be mistaken, I’ll specify which one of these ladies is “me.” This is me to the right of that beautifully blushing bride. I was trying but failing to hold back tears as we prayed for her before she walked down her wedding aisle. This is just one part of my story, of course, but you might be interested to find out where I “was” mentally, physically and emotionally during this part of my story. I was in a bad place. Still, my heart sinks when I remember how my sickness isolated me from, even the happiest, warmest, fondest, most lovely, surroundings. Obsession with self can do that. And if you know what I am talking about, you’ll agree that it’s a sad reality: the pain of “missing out” on life’s simple pleasures and happenings. Am I being too vague? My apologies…

Here’s me as a little whipper-snapper. I was peppy. And then I developed this disordered eating behavior. “Disordered eating” has more to do with “eating-disordered behaviors (i.e. magical thinking, mind-reading, low self-esteem, negative self-worth, negative automatic thoughts, self-hatred, etc.)” than it does with food. Sure, on the outside you see me: someone who has gained and lost 60 pounds, up and down, three times now — and is still experiencing ups and downs but the physical manifestations of my **sickness are just the tip of the iceberg. By the grace of a loving God, I am getting the professional help that my depraved condition requires. More than some of you are praising God that I am getting “professional help” today {insert cymbal clap here}.

One piece of hope for which I attribute a tremendous amount of growth in my recovery is this: “I was not born with bulimia.” Because so much of how I view “my identity” seems inseparable from my disordered-eating behavior, it is vital that I trust the valor of this message: that God created me {eating-disorder free} just because He loves us and that we are NEVER forgotten by Him AND that we are dearly cared for by Him {please excuse my use of passive voice}

Umm, here’s me being my usual, loud, mildly-crazy, definitely quirky, fun self. Sorry for including this embarrassing photo, Bria.

Perhaps I can commit to updating this “about” page with other interesting tid bits and bites from “my story.” But for now I will leave you with a few other clips from my interests: portraiture. **above wedding photos courtesy of Sarah Rominger Photography.

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