a lesson on growing up
This morning I thought to myself “well I am just ready to quit!” … “Quit what?” I asked myself. “Well I don’t know! just QUIT something!” my self answered back in protest. “But you’ve only just begun.”
In my office cubicle, I’ve got this little line who’s growth progress I am trying to track.
Once, already now, I thought the little vine was going to give out and die on me…apparently two tablespoons instead of the 1/2 tsp. suggestion or Miracle Gro can be a threat to little plants’ life expectancy. The leaves turned yellow and fell out after one day of fertilizer shock!
Still though, the little vine did not die, it grew back little leaves to replace the others! At first, I was so discouraged and frustrated with my stupidity in try to force the vine to GROW. I push and push and push the vine to grow, some days nearly drowning it by overwatering it and dehydrating it on others while I attempt to figure out if too-much-watering is the vines’ problem.
As one might be able to understand from this smaller-than-life illustration, nature will take it’s course no matter how much or little I race about trying to figure out a way to change or manipulate the situation.
The same is true for my body and soul.
There she is, a sort of happy little tot with a big personality. And she was happy. It wasn’t that “life was not fair” to her or that she “lived a charmed one.” Life simply happened the way the creator intended. Silly as it may seem, I’d like to paraphrase from Charles Dickens’ David Copperfield. “My meaning simply is, that whatever I have tried to do in life, I have tried with all my heart to do well; that whatever I have devoted myself to, I have devoted myself to completely; that in great aims and in small, I have always been thoroughly in earnest.” (Dickens, Ch. 42) It’s not that my life reaches near or even to the slightest extent close to these words from Dickens, but I would very much like my life, one day, to near such a summary. One might argue that David Copperfield lived the most undesirably unfortunate existence and that, in doing so, his life was ill spent. Through Copperfield’s misfortune’s, he gained insight on the inherent futility of superficial beauty, simple, fluffy “love,” and worldly accomplishment. Although I want those things and each are not-at-all-bad in and of themselves, like Copperfield, I can know that life’s trials and fires are where STRENGTH is gained.
It may appear that I am even more broken than ever, today, but I can tell you that I have heard this: “Things have to get worse before they get better!” One more lesson I can gain from monitoring my little plant’s progress is this: life should not be filled with my fussing over whether “I am ok … [or whether] … I am fixed or not fixed,” rather life should be whether or not I am treating myself and others with gentleness, love, generosity and grace.
Here’s to a kind of growth in all of our lives that lead us into all truth and understanding! and i’ll post a less serious post soon 😀