My friend has a real NFL football. Apparently the “K” on his ball stands for “kicker.” The pressure in these particular “K” NFL footballs is perfect for kicking. As he was telling me the story, I thought of one Halloween party while attending UNC-Chapel Hill. My friend Stephen Murphy dressed as a smurph for Halloween. Everyone called him “Smurph,” so he wanted to wear the part for that one night. We threw a party that included a turtle piñata. After pulveriing that piñata, the only part left was its head and the crowd thought it was fun playing baseball, basketball and football with the turtle’s disembodied head. The young men thought it fun to pretend they were the Heisman trophy. To many of our surprises, Stephen Murphy,-football-basketball-baseball-obsessed-Stephen Murphy COULD NOT recreate the Heisman pose.
It was quite laughable, Stephen’s little white smurph bum protruding, so obviously. He just ouldn’t keep it in. Will, who dressed as Rocky II for the evening, took it upon himself to correct Stephen. The Heisman pose seemed to come so easily for Will, as if he had studied the trophy for years.
For Will, unfortunately, the turtle head did not serve as his football.
By the way, I was a giant set of teeth for halloween that year.